


In the Naked Dawn

by alexcat



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Shock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 19:27:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17987213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexcat/pseuds/alexcat
Summary: After the battle, Steve is in shock.





	In the Naked Dawn

**Author's Note:**

> The premise of bathing a filthy Steve was to be a pwp, but Steve and Natasha had another story to tell.

_And when the sand was gone and the time arrived_  
_In the naked dawn only a few survived_  
_And in attempts to understand a thing so simple and so huge_  
_Believed that they were meant to live after the deluge_  
~ Jackson Browne

*

It was over and he hurt. 

All over. His body ached from his injuries and exhaustion. His heart ached for Bucky, Sam, Wanda, Vis - for them all. His soul ached for his failure. 

They gave him a room, the Wakandans. It was all white, with clean, modern lines. The only color in the room was a beautiful nature study done by a Wakandan artist. 

He was filthy. The suit, almost ragged from the years on the run, was torn and covered in blood, sweat and more than a few tears. His body was worse than the suit – covered in cuts, bruises, dirt, blood – God only knew what else. 

He was standing at the window, looking out. He didn’t dare sit anywhere. When he heard the door open, he turned. 

Natasha walked into his room. Her eyes were as haunted as his, but she was clean. She wore jeans and a t-shirt. Her blond hair was still damp, and she was barefoot. 

“Steve? Are you all right?” 

“No.”

“It’s been hours.” 

He hadn’t realized how long it had been. 

“Can I help you? Maybe a bath?” She moved close though he was sure he smelled bad enough to gag her. 

“I don’t know,” he answered and realized he sounded quite stupid. 

She went to the bathroom and found towels and soap. When she came out, she checked the top drawer of the small dresser and found clothes for him. He had no idea how and when they’d done this, but there it was. 

She approached Steve and began the process of removing his suit. He started to help and suddenly, it was as if he couldn’t quite remember what to do. 

He felt a little embarrassed when he was naked, not because she’d never seen him, but because he was bloody and filthy. She put the suit outside the door. 

“They will clean our things for us. Come on to the shower, Steve.” 

She had shrugged out of her clothes by the time she turned the shower on. 

“In there with you.” 

He obeyed, hissing when the water touched his injuries. He’d refused medical attention, figuring that he’d heal before any of the others, so there wasn’t any use to waste their time. 

He was a little surprised when she stepped in beside him. 

She took the bar soap and began to slide it over his skin, beginning with his back. She crooned nonsense to him as she bathed him, almost as if he were a toddler. She washed his whole body with the bar then soaped a bath cloth and began to clean him in earnest, scrubbing the debris from that awful battle from his skin. She was careful with the wounds, but they still got thoroughly washed. 

He glanced down at her naked, wet body. The thought of how good she felt in his arms flitted through his mind and he wondered if anything would ever feel good again. She washed his face, his ears, his hair and beard. The water that ran down the drain was red and brown at first then finally ran clear except for the white soap bubbles that swirled around the drain. 

She turned the shower off and hastily dried herself then she dried him all over, even his hair. Once she was satisfied, she handed him a toothbrush, knowing that after the battle they’d been in, he could even taste death. 

“Come with me.” She didn’t bother with her clothes or his as she turned the bed down and pushed him toward it. He lay down and she climbed in with him. She lay on her back and reached for him. He went to her, putting his head on her chest. 

“Let go, Steve. You can’t carry it all forever.” She smoothed his hair as she cradled him to her breasts. 

He cried. 

A hundred years of sorrow began to pour out of him as his best friend and lover held him in her arms. He cried for his mother, for Bucky, for Sam, Tony, for them all. It felt like his heart should stop beating.

It didn’t. 

It felt like the world should stop moving, the sun stop shining. 

They didn’t.

He cried until there were no more tears. The sorrow was not diminished. It never would be. He’d learned that when his mother died. 

He moved and pulled Natasha into his arms this time. She looked at him, studying his face. She looked tired, too, he realized. 

“I don’t know how to fix this,” he told her. 

“No one does. Yet.” She kissed his cheek. “Let’s try to sleep some. Tomorrow, we’ll go out there and figure out something together.”

He nodded and closed his eyes.


End file.
